My kids are demonstrating a scary talent for storytelling and sometimes tell me they want to be authors when they grow up. I want to beg them to do something easier, like brain surgery, or rocket science, but I'm also insanely proud (I know, like any mom, right?)
My 10 y.o. son had to write a journal from the point of view of one of the earliest settlers in 1600s Virginia, and he was a young soldier, writing about the shocking lack of harbor smell as his ship approached the "unfettered wilderness." Also, when he saw bears crashing through the wilderness, he grabbed for his "piece."
Me: Your piece? You grabbed your piece?
Him: MOTHER, it was another term for musket in the olden days.
So my husband and I spent a few days rolling around laughing about this. "Quick, the pugs are on a rampage! It's a deadly squirrel in the unfettered wilderness of the back yard! Grab your piece!!"
Of course, we only did this when Science Boy wasn't in the house . . .
Then today, I went to school to hear my 7 y.o. daughter's press conference. The students each had to "discover" a new planet, they all spent a month working on it, and today was her turn to give her press conference about this shocking new discovery.
Her planet is named Dognonia, and has many fascinating characteristics, including the 1-foot-tall residents who live mainly on a diet of snow crab, bacon, and cheeseburgers. One of their major holidays is "Chase a Cat Day" when the Dognonians all turn invisible and fly over to Earth to chase cats.
Her teacher says, "What do they do when they catch the cats?"
Princess: "They insult them."
Me: [burying my head in my hands trying not to howl in laughter, this is the first I've heard about the insulting]
Teacher: "What kind of insults?"
Princess: "Hey, stinky fish breath cat!"
Student wildly waving hand: "What kind of animals are on Dognonia?"
Princess: "50-foot-tall man-eating Puffballs."
Student: "Why do the Dognonians go to Earth to chase cats?"
Princess, rolling her eyes: "Well they're not going to exactly chase the man-eating Puffballs, are they?"
By this time, I was hurting -- in actual pain -- from holding in the laughter. In a month of prep, I'd never heard about the cat-insulting or the man-eating Puffballs. This was all strictly ad lib.
But I kind of loved her explanation of the motto of the Dognonians: "We all pull together in hard times."
I think those Dognonians have the right idea. Pretty darn brave from a people chased by 50-foot-tall man-eating Puffballs, hmm?